Mom

                                     You are the warm caress of the sun on my cheeks.

                                     You are the cool rain on a humid day.

                                     You are the fluttering butterfly that brings a smile to my face.

                                     I know you are not here in this place, hindered by this small

                                     space. 

                                     You are finally free with the Lord to be.

                                     And you will always be a wonderful memory to me, in all

                                     earthly beauty I see.

Hero's Healing

                                                                

He walks with a slow shuffle, his back is bent from the many battles fought, some won, and some lost. 

His face and hands are wrinkled from the many years of work and worry. 

His hair has turned gray and his eye sight has deemed, the years of him being a hero coming to an end. 

He isn’t a star or anyone famous. 

He has never tried leaping tall buildings and he has never parted a sea. 

But just the same he will always be my hero for the way he loved and cared for me, he has always been more than grandpa to me. 

Now as he comes to his life’s end, it is a time for healing and mending of fences for him. 

He calls me over to sit and talk for a spell; I don’t know what is on his mind only time will tell. 

As we sit there in silence for a moment or two, I let my mind wonder down memory lane, the joy, heartache, and pain. 

But one thing has always been the same; my grandfather has always been there to see me through the sunshine as well as the rain, for this he will always in my heart remain.

Across from me in a chair is who I am talking about, yes he is what hero’s are made of without a doubt. 

For many years he has been head of this home, watching over me as I have grown now the years have past and here we sit for our last chat.

Grandpa finally raises his head and he looks me strait in the eye, as tears run down his cheeks it’s of Heaven that he speaks. 

How the goal that he has been working so hard for over the years is soon to be reached. 

The days are passing and time is fading fast but he stands firm on the goal of Heaven that he will reach at last. 

It’s of his many years of Bible teaching that he speaks how his mind is now to slow and too weak. 

That it can’t be over because there are still many people to reach. 

It’s here that I remind him of the wonderful fact that his teaching is never going to be done, that through others it has only just begun. 

Teaching what they have learned from you will touch many not just a few. 

It will be pasted down through time until Christ’s coming again. 

So don’t worry Grandpa your teaching is not at its end it is just starting over again. 

He then speaks of my youth that he is afraid that he has over pushed. 

As I remember those years gone by, how I didn’t think school was worth a try. 

 I would cry and beg him not to take me. 

But my Grandfather with wisdom intact knew I would thank him one day when I realized that what he was doing was best for me. 

 No Grandpa you didn’t push to hard, for if you hadn’t made me go I would never have gotten this far in life. 

So don’t worry about the things you have done or said for it has all worked together to make me who I am.  

So there is nothing to forgive, for I have gained wisdom from how you have lived.  There is a smile on his face; and I know there a healing has taken place, for there is great relief on his face taking worry and regrets place.

He talked of a time that he must leave. 

He asks me to have joy and not to grieve. 

He wants me to know that I owe him no debt, for me not to look back with any regret.  For we have share more in this short life then we could have ever deserved. 

Through his wisdom he hopes he has helped me to learn that the life we live we can never return, to right a wrong or try it again.  

We must always live like it’s going to end, leaving no regrets to have to mend.

Time has past and as I ponder our talk, I know I will miss my Grandpa a lot. 

 I will always remember our talk, and try to use his wisdom, letting it guide my actions and direct my walk.

I know that our talk was a healing for him it helped him to know that there was nothing left unsaid, and no fence un-mended.  

I have learned a valuable lesson from him that even hero’s sometimes need healing.  May the time never come when as I look back on what I have done, will I need a healing before my life has come to an end.

Mirror Image

         I wake up to another day, with a lack of enthusiasm for having to face it.  It’s in my sleep that I find my only peace.  The day brings only fear and uncertainty in who and what I am.  I must face the start of a new day in spite of myself.  I drag myself out of bed and down the hall to the bathroom where I will face myself for the first time today.  I stand before the mirror gazing into it with resentment for its ability to reflect who you are right before your eyes.  When I was very young mirrors had very little impact on me.  But as time passed and I have gotten old, mirrors seem to be everywhere I turn.  They seem to be waiting to magnify all the flaws that I see in my face.  I try to avoid them but as try as I might they have a way of drawing me in, and this morning is no exception.

          I stand for a long time gazing at my reflection taking in the many outward features that make up my face.  Hair that is too short and way too straight, eyes that are too big and too brown looking like over baked chocolate chip cookies, cheeks that are too fat and a chin that is too small I don’t like any of it at all.  Wow, is this how others see me?  Are these the things they focus on?  Do they get so caught up in the outside features that they fail to look to the inside to who I really am?  What do I expect?  I do the very same thing day after day.  I am so focused on my outward reflection that I have lost sight of the things that make up who and what I really am on the inside.  Like my talent in art and music, I am trustworthy and loyal to my family and friends.  I try to reflect the strong moral character of a godly person, kind to others, honest, and true. 

          Do they see the pain, and insecurities of how I think I look that keep me from really living and enjoying life the way I should?  Do they realize that the smile on my face and the flippant way I handle everyday living is just a cover to hide the many fears and inadequacies of how others may perceive me that plague me everyday?  Does it even matter what they see, or is it more important that this is all I see when I look at me?

Shouldn’t I be the one who really sees and understands me?  How have I become so lost, where and how do I find the real me?

          As I stand gazing at the distorted image I have created of myself, I find myself in desperate need of an answer.  And in desperation I cry out, “God what did you have in mind when you created me?”  Standing there in the suffocating silence, eye to eye with my reflection it was as if my mind was open up for the first time and I heard the answer loud and clear.

          The scripture Genesis 1:26 And God said, let us make man in our image, after our likeness.  This scripture ran through my mind and I knew that it was the ultimate answer to who I was meant to be.  It isn’t about the outside features that make up who I am but the inside characteristics that make up the true me. 

          At that moment my reflection took a whole new meaning, instead of focusing on the outside features as multiple flaws in what makes me who I am.  I could see that I was made as a special individual not to be compared to other people but to mirror the creator’s character.  He made the outside features to be a special gift to me, and I am to use the character features from within to be a special gift to Him.  In realizing this I finally realized how special I really was, God has only made one of me and in realizing how important my individual features must have been to Him they have taken on a new meaning for me.

          As I look at my mirror image now, I see so much more then I did before, I see laughing brown eye’s, a bright smile, and a face that radiates joy and individuality.  It’s so much easier to accept who I am when I see myself the way God does, Special. 

          Accepting who you are as the gift that was made just for you will give you the ability to live with joy in the skin you’re in.  Take a look at your mirror image and focus on the wonderful gift of individuality that God has given you, and remember we are all made in His image.  I hope that your mirror image will take on a whole new meaning for you as mine has for me.

         

Mind Field

           It’s as if my mind is a vast field. It has been polluted with years of trash and neglect. All this has caused it to become over taken by the weeds of doubt, cluttered with the underbrush of pain. The many storms of the past have caused erosion of the most productive soil. Still scattered throughout are a few wild flowers of hope.

          But what you see on the surface is not the real problem. It’s what’s laying just blow the surface that makes the mind so dangerous. Scattered all over the mind just below the surface are triggers. As we walk around aimlessly unaware of where these many triggers are, we set them off at the most inopportune times, each explosion tearing away another part of who we are. It’s as if we are at war with ourselves, unable to defend ourselves we can only try to keep the damage to a minimum. We must stay strong in spite of the open wounds that try to destroy us.

          What will it take to destroy me? How long can I be among the walking wounded? What will cause me to lay my weapon down in surrender to the pain? What will cause me to throw my hands up in defeat saying “Enough is enough!” Will it be one more explosion of the pain from the past, or am I strong enough to take on several more hits. Only time will tell…………..

BOOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

           

Growing Up In The Dark

My earliest childhood memories are of the many sleepless nights I spent crying, because of the fear and confusion growing up brought with it. My troubled mind would not let me relax and rest it would only focus on the unknowns of growing up. Why must the journey of growing up have to be so hard? When did something so natural start feeling so unnatural?                               

The darkness would weigh down on me with a pressure that seemed to crush the very breath from my lungs. The darkness brought with it a defining silence that pushed my tired mind to the brink of hopelessness.

It was in those many sleepless nights that I seemed to have grown up the most. For it was in the quit darkness that I learned to focus on the little things of life. In doing so the many big things of life were broken down in manageable piece that worked together to bring me through the many nights of growing up.

It’s in the darkest of times that the Lord helps us to grow the most.  Without the darkness we would never be grateful for the light.

                                                           

Faces

As they sit in the pew, each face giving out a hint of how each one is feeling.

Each face bears witness to the individual’s journey.

Some seem to beam with the look of victory, while others faces are cloaked with the weight of defeat.

There are many different faces in these seats.

Even though we are united in purpose by Christ, we each still have our own individual journey in life.

Some stand strong and bold no matter the ups and downs the journey holds.

While others are beaten down and so weakened by the twists and turns of the journeys hard lessons learned.

All may have great faith, and all may have burdens to bear.

All may have wounds, but some have scares that they will never share.

These are the ones that will have an uphill fight; these are the ones whose dreams torment them at night.

Yes, as you sit beaming with victory in your pew, do you even notice the hurting sitting next you?

Or do you sit wrapped up in your self-righteousness and blessed disregard only aware of how great you are.

Do you fail to see how painful it is to be them, do you even take the time to realize that they are falling behind?

Do you try to put yourself in their place; do you even try to understand that defeated look on their face?

No, that won’t due because it might disgrace you.

What if you had their fate?

Would you even try to stand, or would you just try to blend in?

Maybe you would struggle just to fit in, so you could be like the rest of them.

Faces hold more then we think they do, they tell a lot about me and a lot about you.

Do we stay focused only on our own, or do we look beside us to see what others are going through.

Maybe it’s time to look outside ourselves, to reach out to others and what their face tells.

The next time you look at a face try to put yourself in their place.

You never know what you might see, you might even understand me.

The Climb

The Climb

As I stand at the base of you great expanse.
I'm not sure that I'm even up for this dance.
Do I even want to take the chance, can I even go the distance.

As I stand gazing up into the sky I see your peak trying
to touch the clouds as they drift by.
Do I even try to reach your top,
or will I get half way and stop.

I most take the chance,I must dare to dance.
If I want to have life, love, and a second chance.
I must climb, I must reach for the sky.

For I must live life to the fullest, going the distance
without looking back.
For if I finish well, making the climb.
Then one day I will be in sky
where time will never pass me by.
~~SG~~

Fear

Is paralyzing, steals your peace.
It makes your blood boil and your heart race.
Drains your color and puts sweat on your brow.
I'd calm down but I don't know sure how.

Twists your stomach in knots and loosens your bowels.
Makes my head thump and my ears ring.
Keeps my mind muddled so I can't think of a thing.
One minute I want to hide the next I want to flee.
Yes, this thing called fear has really got a hold on me!

~~SG~~

~When I~

            ~When I~

When I cry out in the dark, You hear me.
When I cower in the corner, You see me.
When I fall Down, You pick me up.
When I feel hopeless, You give me hope.
When I am at the end, You are my new beginning.
When I am surrounded by evil, You give me peace.
When I can know longer stand the night, You send the light.
When I feel shut out, You draw me in.
When I can't bare the trial of life, You are there.
When I lock everyone out, You get in.
When I don't see any progress, You show me where I had been.
When I had emptiness, You filled it in.

          ~Remove my I's so that You can be seen.~
                                                                                 ~SG

Awakening

     I hear the yawning of all creation as Spring awakens once again.  It's as if everything has been in a deep sleep through out winter to awaken once again as the sunshine of spring falls upon the earth.  The birds are singing with new enthusiasm at the renewing of life that comes with spring, as the wind whispers a new tune to welcome in the new beginning.  It's as if there is a celebration by all of creation at the blessing of having yet another chance at rebirth.
     We to have this opportunity to have a new beginning after every cold and dark time in our lives.  We must stay strong and endure the winter of life that we might have the chance at rebirth and renewing of our hearts, minds, and spirits.  We will feel the Spring like stirring in our lives if we look to the horizon for the return of the SON.  We to will have a new song and renewed enthusiasm as we feel the warmth of the new beginning in our lives. 
     There is a great awakening for all creation, whether by the return of Spring or the return of the SON.  For in that final Spring we will all be changed and renewed forever.  For in Him I am a new creature!