Crying

Crying it s a natural emotion we all share, from the time we are born we shed tears for many reasons, hunger, fear, anger, sadness, pain, happiness and much more. Some folks hardly ever cry and some seem to always to be crying.
As a child I cried a lot, most every night I sat up crying unable to sleep. I can remember the loneliness that crying brought with it. I felt as if I had no one and that life was never going to get easier. I was a broken and hurting child and with each tear I shed I drifted farther and farther away from a normal childhood, and farther and farther from the Lord, I thought that He couldn't care about me and let me go through this terrible time in my life alone. In my child's mind I thought He should swoop in and save me like you see in the fair tales. As you know that isn't how life works and looking back I see that He was always there.
One of the first things I learned after I was saved was that I had not shed a tear that God did not hear. The Bible says in Psalms 56:8 Put thou my tears into thy bottle. The Lord spoke to my heart and made me realize that He had carefully bottled every tear I had ever shed. Not even my silent cries had went unnoticed He had heard and bottled them. Just knowing that, during those times in my life that I felt so alone and thought that no one else heard my cries, He was right there with me catching each tear, waiting for me to cry out to Him. Looking back now it is as if I can actually see Him sitting by His heavenly Father in the peacefulness of heaven, enjoying creation, listening to the prayers of the saints as the wind carries them to heavenly heights. All of a sudden, Jesus stands as a concerned look crosses His face, tilting His head slightly to the side He listens intently. A knowing look crosses His face as a tear runs down His cheek; He turns and walks over to a shelf picking up a bottle with my name written on it. He turns toward the Father with a look of pain on His face, The Father nods as if to bid Him go. With His very strong but gentle hand, holding the bottle firmly He slowly extends it toward me here on earth. He brings the bottle close to my face and very gently using His other hand; He brushes my tears into the bottle. Looking at this picture in my minds eye, it gives me great comfort in knowing that I was not alone. It does not change those tearful nights of my childhood but it sure makes it easier to deal with knowing that He was right there all the time catching every tear and sharing my pain.
I am so thankful that even today when my heart is broken and I am crying and lonely He is still catching every one of my tears and sharing my heart ache, and that gives me great comfort and helps me weather the storms of life.

Thankful

Are we ever thankful enough, do we ever get to a place that we are content and happy with exactly what we have? As humans I think we fight the flesh and never get to a place of contentment, just as Adam and Eve we to are never happy with all that the Lord has blessed us with. We only focus on the things we don't have, over looking the abundant blessings that fill our lives.
I am blessed beyond measure and I know I am guilty of taking it for granted. Yes, I thank Him daily for what He has given me, but often I am holding out my hand for more before I have even enjoyed the blessings I already have. Like a spoiled child I throw all my blessing to the side and ask "so what's next?". Lord, forgive me for being so selfish and ungrateful.
Lord, I want to thank you for all the blessings you have bestowed upon me. For reaching out to me in my darkest hour and saving my soul. For saving my life and keeping me out of a devils hell. This is so much more then I ever deserved and I am so thankful that you chose me. Looking back on those dark times in my life I realize that even then you were watching over me and protecting me, and for that I am very grateful. I want to thank you for second chances and for new starts. Thanks so much for restoring my broken life and making all things new.
Thank you for the wonderful man you have sent into my life to be my husband. He is such a good man and has a heart of love and kindness that I had never known in my life. He takes good care of me and loves me unconditionally. He is my strength and security in the darkest of nights. He is the extension of your love from Heaven to me here on earth. He is more then I could have ever dreamed of and so much more. Help me Lord never to take him for granted.
Thank you for all the things you have added to our lives, our family, friends, financial security and the peace and joy that comes from having you at the center of it all. You have blessed us with your presence in our life and have shown us that life can be more then just a journey to endure, that it can be a joyful adventure with peace and love that is more priceless then anything else this world has to offer.
Lord, help us all to be thankful and content in you. Help us to see more clearly what blessing we have that we might not take them for granted.

The Words I Would Say

What would I say if we were face to face, if I was with you and not here in this place.
I wonder if I would open up right away or would I wait to see what you might say.
Somehow I know you would only stare with loving eyes and a sweet smile on your face, waiting for me to share what is already written on my face.
I must say I am a little uneasy and not quite sure where to start, so here I go I am just going to share my heart.
For years I felt empty and alone was roaming around the world for what I did not know.
I had made many decisions on this journey called life all of which caused me only heartache and strife.
I married young and turned to alcohol shortly after.
For 19 years my life was a total disaster just could not grasp hold of happily ever after.
When I had flopped around in the cesspools of life were I nearly took my own life.
It is only when I hit bottom that I finally looked up out of darkness and despair only to find that you had always been there.
You stood beside me patient and true just waiting for the day that I realized that I needed you.
You had not stepped in when I was stubborn and self-willed not caring about anyone or if I was killed.
You waited until I was broken and at the end of myself down on my knees crying for a relief.
It is then that you cleared my sight and I finally saw you that night, I saw how wrong I had been and that you could make it all right, I really started living that night.
Has everything been roses and rainbows has life only been full of ups and no downs, has the devil took his temptations and stopped hanging around?
No, that is not the case, but now I can stand firm and look him in the face, confident that I am not alone or out of place for with you I now have a permanent place.
So to you I am more grateful then this fleshly body could ever show, for you are the greatest love that I have ever known.
You are my Blessed Savior who sits on His throne, saving a place for me in my Heavenly home.
Thank you Jesus for making me one of your own.

Blessed

Blessed - a thing conducive to happiness, to invoke divine care.

Acts 3:26 Unto you first God, having raised up His Son Jesus, sent him to bless you, in turning away everyone of you from his iniquities.

Blessed - I am so blessed, God is so good to me in spite of who and what I am. If He gave me what I deserve I would have nothing, not even life. But for reasons that only He knows I am blessed beyond measure.

If you look back at my past you will see brokenness, loss, sin and destruction. My life was not blessed it was just a total mess, a mess me and my sin had created. But when I meet the Master, He took the broken pieces blessed them and put them back together again in a new and wonderful way. Little did I know that out of the dust of my broken past He would create in me a new and wonderful life in Him. He blessed me with a new heart and a new start, I have a renewed foundation and a strong and happy life with a bright future in Him.

I know He loves me and has promised to fill my needs, but to bless me beyond that and in such a big way is beyond my understanding. I take each blessing as a great treasure and hold it dear and realize that it is a gift of great worth. A gift that I am unworthy to have but oh so grateful that it has been given to me. I feel like I am living in a dream, that things in my life are just to good to be true. As I look back on how life use to be and see where it is today it is unbelievable how good God has been to me. There is no doubt that He loves me and that He cares for me more then I could ever know. Words just can not express how much my life has been changed and how barrenness has been turned into blessed hope.

 I am not boasting in anything of myself but only expressing my appreciation for all that the Lord has done for me. At the very least I must not take it for granted or fail to give Him thanks. I never want to get over the fact that He has saved me from my past and gave me peace in the present and hope for the future. Oh how a life of destruction has been turned into a life with a divine destination.

Thank You Lord For Your Blessings On Me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
　

Lightning Rod for the Lord

Lightning Rod is a grounded metallic rod set up on a structure to protect the structure from a lightning strike. Most direct lightning strikes to a structure will cause structure destruction by fire. Lightning rods draw the strike and the electrical energy from it and transfer it down the ground wire deep into the earth so that it is dispersed without causing any destruction to the structure.

Matt. 24:27 For as the lightning cometh out of the east, and shineth even unto the west; so shall also the coming of the Son of man be.

I want to be like that Lightning Rod for the Lord….

1. Steadfast- the lightning rod is placed stationary on the structure were it will stay with out being moved or removed from its spot. It is strong and is a great conductor of the power of the strike. The rod is placed not because you know when lightning is going to hit, but to be prepared for when it does hit. We do not move, or remove it if it doesn’t hit at a certain time. It just stands strong and always ready for the strike of lightning, never changing and always standing at the ready.
Wow, that is exactly how we as Christians are to be, strong, steadfast, unmovable, and ready for strike of Gods power and return. Not because we know when its going to happen but because we want to be prepared when it happens.
Lightning Rods are not removed after a time if the strike doesn’t happen. It stays on the structure in its place until the structure is no longer there. WE are to be the same always steadfast even if we don’t see His return we are to stand until the return or the end of our time here on earth. Never to tier or to get weary of the wait.

2. Grounded- The lightning rod has a ground wire attached to it that goes from the rod down deep into the ground. The ground wire draws the energy from the strike deep into the earth to disperse the electrical surge from the strike so that the structure is not harmed. The Rod must be connected to the ground for it to be effective. We as Christians must be grounded in the word by the connection from the blood of Jesus that we might pull the power of the word deep into our souls that we can be spared from the harm that this world can have on us.

3. Conductor- The lightning rod is metallic , a metal that is a good conductor of electricity. A good conductor is a guide to act as a medium for conveying or transmitting. As Christians we should be a good medium for conveying Gods word and transmitting His love by the way we live so that others can become lightning rods for the Lord.

I want to be like a lightning rod fearing nothing but the power of God.

City Life

     I had the privilege of going to New York a couple of weeks ago. I had a wonderful time and come to love the city of New York in the six days I was there. I had heard many things about New York before I went, some things good and some things not so good. Not to mention most of the TV shows take place in New York and most are crime stories. But I decided I would go in spite of the reputation and bad reviews that I had read. So on April 30^th, I took off on my great adventure to NY.
     Upon my arrival to NY I found that folks were much more polite and helpful then I had heard they would be. Although most didn’t seem to know how to take a smile and hello from a random stranger on the street, they still would respond, even if only with a tip of the head or a slight smile back. But what I found was many folks walking the street that were humans just like me. I’m sure there were many worries and cares on the minds of the folks I saw each day, just like the worry and cares that weight me down at times. They were all just trying to get everything accomplished in the short time the day allowed as quickly and efficiently as they could, not unlike me on the days that I feel that there is not enough time in the day to do all that needs done. They were all just trying to get by and enjoy the little things of life just like me.
     The things I was most in awe of was the tall buildings and the beauty and detail that was a part of each one. There was art and sculpture in about every building façade and window. Every nook and cranny was art just waiting to be discovered. Central Park was no exception, there was more beauty and sculptures to see then one could see in several trips. I feel like I only saw a fraction of the beauty that NY and Central Park has to offer and hope to return one day and explore even more of it’s beauty.
     At first I couldn’t understand why I fell in love with the city of New York. I have thought a lot about the peace and joy it brought me to be a part of it for those few days and can’t believe that I felt so comfortable and safe being a small speck in this city of millions. But after much thought and many walks down memory lane I think I finally understand why I loved my time in New York so much. Let me try to explain so that you to can see this great city as I did.
     I just keep thinking if man can build a beautiful city like this what has the Lord got in store for us with the new Jerusalem and the new earth, that the Bible speaks about in Revelations. The Bible speaks about the beauty of the city and the new earth. And it will be a place of overwhelming and awe inspiring sights and will have multitudes of believers dwelling within these new realms. So as I took in all the awesome sights of NY and the Park and experienced the joy and excitement of exploring this new place, I couldn’t help thinking about eternity and the beauty it will hold. If man can build and create this awesome and wonderful place then Heaven, the New Earth and the New Jerusalem are going to be out of this world! (no pun intended) It will take traveling to a whole new realm of possibilities. Talk about a trip to remember, I can’t wait to make the trip to eternity and start the adventure that will be unending. Even after enjoying NY my mind still cannot comprehend the beauty and adventure that awaits me.
     Then my mind goes to the other reason I loved NY so much, there are so many people and it is easy to just be part of the group as you walk the streets and enjoy the sights and just soak up the feeling of living. While I was there no one brought up my past, or gave me that knowing look of pity or disgust. I didn’t stand out because of my childhood or the many bad decisions I have made along the way. I was accepted just because I was there in the city going about my day like everyone else. And I didn’t get distracted by anyone else’s baggage either, there was no judgment of them on what I might have heard from others, or what they had done to me in the past. It was a great feeling to only be known and only know as we were at that very moment of meeting in the street as we walked along through the day. Wow, to realize that Eternity is going to be that way, only on a much bigger and perfect scale. That this feeling I have had in this man made city is only a drop in the bucket as to how it will feel in Eternity. We will fellowship in the moment without the distractions of the past to taint the feeling of joy we will experience there.
     These are only a couple of reasons that I fell in love with New York City. But these reasons have given me more then enough memories to fuel my excitement about going to the place in eternity called Heaven. What a finally trip that will be, I am making preparation right now, how about you?

"Aha Moment"

Matthew 27:54 Roman Centurion “truly this was the Son of God”

Aha Moment is a point in time when one realizes something for the first time.

Matt. 27:54 Now when the centurion, and they that were with him, 1.watching Jesus, 2.saw the earthquake, and those things that were done, they feared greatly, 3.saying, truly this was the Son of God.

1. Regard- look upon, observe, closely consider. Just as the Roman Centurion looked upon the Lord and all that was going on around him, I to had to get to a place where I stopped and took a look around. My life was filled only with hopelessness, anger and destruction. There was nothing but confusion and wickedness in my life, just as the centurion, I had left many hurting and wounded people in the wake of my anger and destructive living.

2. Recognition- Sudden Understanding, centurion saw how He died and how the earth responded. It was a clear picture of who Jesus was, not even the centurion could deny the truth that was revealed on that cross, that day, by the man called Jesus.
Just as I sitting in a church on 3-26-97 could not deny the clear picture of who Jesus was in the sermon preached by Pastor Mike. Not sure of the title of the message but I remember clearly the scripture Matt. 27:54 as he read about the centurion realizing that this truly was the Son of God, I had cold chills running up and down my body as I saw clearly for the first time, the picture of the Son of God and Him dieing for me.

3.Resolution- Aha Moment, an instant at which the solution becomes clear. “Jesus the Son of God” I’m not sure what the centurion did with the truth that he come to realize that day, but I had to act upon the truth that was revealed to me. It wasn’t something I could sit on, I had to act upon it by surrendering my life to the one who died for me “Jesus the Son of God”.
He has been the solution not only for my lost soul, but for my hopeless and destroyed life. He has made all things new and blessed me beyond my understanding. “Truly He is the Son of God”

Matt. 27:54 Roman Centurion- he never heard Him preach or saw Him heal, or followed Him through the crowds, he never witnessed Him still the wind, he only witnessed the way He died. But, that’s all it took to cause this weather-worn soldier to take a giant step in faith. “Truly this was the Son of God” - Max Lacado

Insecurities, who me?

Yes, me and you. We all have insecurities wether we want to admit it or not. Some time in our lives something, someone, or some situation has caused us to develop insecurities. And if you are like me you have even developed some on your own by doubting your talents, value, or beating yourself up all for no good reason. Yes, I believe we are all big bags of insecurities, only question is which one will jump up ad set us on an emotional roller coaster ride next. Because you never know who or what might set the next one off, they will always blind side you and get your emotions off and running out of control before you are even aware of it happening. And good luck trying to get them under control before they cause you more trouble then you are willing to deal with. Oh what a ride!
Thank God, He knows what my insecurities are and loves me in spite of them and in spite of how I deal with them. He is never blind sided by them and is always there to help me get them under control. As I have grown in the Lord I can keep them from jumping up and hurting me as much, and on those occasions when they are triggered by an event and jump up to blind side me, I can keep better control over the emotions they bring and shorten the time that they keep me mentally and spiritually paralyzed.
I pray that some day I will be free of all my insecurities and they will never be able to take hold of me again. If not on this side of Heaven then I know I will be free from them in eternity. Thank you Lord for making freedom possible!

The Refuge

On a cold winter’s evening, the sun sets and leaves the house in thick darkness.  It is enough to make my young mind uneasy.  It is nights like these that I am glad that I have a place of refuge, in the kitchen in front of the warm morning stove on my Grandfather’s lap as he sits in his rocking chair.  I have found this to be my place of refuge for the uncertain nights in my life. 

          I feel safe snuggled up on my Grandfather’s lap.  His strong arms around me make me feel so safe.  The smell of his aftershave gives off the sweet smell of summer’s days, gone by.  Here with him makes the dark winter seem so much farther away.

          The rocking chair we sit in is made strong and simple giving it the feel of home.  The swishing sound it makes as we rock gives off such a gentle soothing rhythm.  It seems to erase my worry, as I concentrate on the back and forth motion my mind is put at ease.  It gives me such a care free feeling like being on a carousel.  It is my own private ride that carries me to a very safe and comforting place.

          I start to feel the warmth from the stove on my cheeks.  It’s as if it is kissing away all my worries and cares.  I start to focus on the yellow/orange flames as they dance within the stove.  They bring brilliant light and warmth with their every movement.  It’s as if it is a special dance just for me.  I can’t help but smile after looking upon such a beautiful dance, oh no their dance has not been in vain. 

          This night like the many before and the many after will take my worried mind to a more beautiful and worry free place that will see my through yet another time of darkness in my life.  Spending these worrisome winter evenings in my favorite place of refuge makes the darkness not seem so thick and scary.  It not only gets me through many though times, but it leaves behind some wonderful memories for me to carry through out the rest of the winters in my life.  This refuge will always be my refuge even if only in my memory.

Time

          
We see time as and endless commodity, there to use as we see fit.  As we use it we never look into the future thinking about time and how much it can mean to us.  We live as if we have an endless supply of time to use as we see fit.  When in reality time and how much of it we have are not in our control.  We are to use it wisely and live each day as if it is our last.  In doing so this would change the way we live and the way we handle time? 

            I look back at the time I was a child growing up and I don’t remember ever thinking about time and how much of it that I might have.  I was to busy learning about and enjoying my surroundings to think about time and what it really meant to me.  But as time has past and I have seen time get away from other people I realize how very important every minute is.  Watching my mother as she used what little time she had left has left a lasting impression on me.  I realize that at any moment my time can be limited by disease or tragedy. That just because I don’t think about a limit for my time doesn’t mean that it is limitless.  I try to stay very aware of each moment and how very valuable it is. 

            As I face each new day I try to focus on the blessings of life.  I try not to take any of them for granted, not even the littlest things for even they reflect the face of God.  In staying focused on the Heavenly thing I don’t get entangled in the things of the world as easily.  And I don’t take time for granted as much when I am using my time to bask in the creation around me, realizing that God’s art is the most inspiring art of all its in it that I like to spend my time.

            Time marches on and we can not stop it, but we can use it wisely.  If we see it as the blessing it is and cherish it as we should, who knows how much time we may be given to enjoy.  Lord, help me to be a good steward of the time you give me.

Mom

                                     You are the warm caress of the sun on my cheeks.

                                     You are the cool rain on a humid day.

                                     You are the fluttering butterfly that brings a smile to my face.

                                     I know you are not here in this place, hindered by this small

                                     space. 

                                     You are finally free with the Lord to be.

                                     And you will always be a wonderful memory to me, in all

                                     earthly beauty I see.

Hero's Healing

                                                                

He walks with a slow shuffle, his back is bent from the many battles fought, some won, and some lost. 

His face and hands are wrinkled from the many years of work and worry. 

His hair has turned gray and his eye sight has deemed, the years of him being a hero coming to an end. 

He isn’t a star or anyone famous. 

He has never tried leaping tall buildings and he has never parted a sea. 

But just the same he will always be my hero for the way he loved and cared for me, he has always been more than grandpa to me. 

Now as he comes to his life’s end, it is a time for healing and mending of fences for him. 

He calls me over to sit and talk for a spell; I don’t know what is on his mind only time will tell. 

As we sit there in silence for a moment or two, I let my mind wonder down memory lane, the joy, heartache, and pain. 

But one thing has always been the same; my grandfather has always been there to see me through the sunshine as well as the rain, for this he will always in my heart remain.

Across from me in a chair is who I am talking about, yes he is what hero’s are made of without a doubt. 

For many years he has been head of this home, watching over me as I have grown now the years have past and here we sit for our last chat.

Grandpa finally raises his head and he looks me strait in the eye, as tears run down his cheeks it’s of Heaven that he speaks. 

How the goal that he has been working so hard for over the years is soon to be reached. 

The days are passing and time is fading fast but he stands firm on the goal of Heaven that he will reach at last. 

It’s of his many years of Bible teaching that he speaks how his mind is now to slow and too weak. 

That it can’t be over because there are still many people to reach. 

It’s here that I remind him of the wonderful fact that his teaching is never going to be done, that through others it has only just begun. 

Teaching what they have learned from you will touch many not just a few. 

It will be pasted down through time until Christ’s coming again. 

So don’t worry Grandpa your teaching is not at its end it is just starting over again. 

He then speaks of my youth that he is afraid that he has over pushed. 

As I remember those years gone by, how I didn’t think school was worth a try. 

 I would cry and beg him not to take me. 

But my Grandfather with wisdom intact knew I would thank him one day when I realized that what he was doing was best for me. 

 No Grandpa you didn’t push to hard, for if you hadn’t made me go I would never have gotten this far in life. 

So don’t worry about the things you have done or said for it has all worked together to make me who I am.  

So there is nothing to forgive, for I have gained wisdom from how you have lived.  There is a smile on his face; and I know there a healing has taken place, for there is great relief on his face taking worry and regrets place.

He talked of a time that he must leave. 

He asks me to have joy and not to grieve. 

He wants me to know that I owe him no debt, for me not to look back with any regret.  For we have share more in this short life then we could have ever deserved. 

Through his wisdom he hopes he has helped me to learn that the life we live we can never return, to right a wrong or try it again.  

We must always live like it’s going to end, leaving no regrets to have to mend.

Time has past and as I ponder our talk, I know I will miss my Grandpa a lot. 

 I will always remember our talk, and try to use his wisdom, letting it guide my actions and direct my walk.

I know that our talk was a healing for him it helped him to know that there was nothing left unsaid, and no fence un-mended.  

I have learned a valuable lesson from him that even hero’s sometimes need healing.  May the time never come when as I look back on what I have done, will I need a healing before my life has come to an end.

Mirror Image

         I wake up to another day, with a lack of enthusiasm for having to face it.  It’s in my sleep that I find my only peace.  The day brings only fear and uncertainty in who and what I am.  I must face the start of a new day in spite of myself.  I drag myself out of bed and down the hall to the bathroom where I will face myself for the first time today.  I stand before the mirror gazing into it with resentment for its ability to reflect who you are right before your eyes.  When I was very young mirrors had very little impact on me.  But as time passed and I have gotten old, mirrors seem to be everywhere I turn.  They seem to be waiting to magnify all the flaws that I see in my face.  I try to avoid them but as try as I might they have a way of drawing me in, and this morning is no exception.

          I stand for a long time gazing at my reflection taking in the many outward features that make up my face.  Hair that is too short and way too straight, eyes that are too big and too brown looking like over baked chocolate chip cookies, cheeks that are too fat and a chin that is too small I don’t like any of it at all.  Wow, is this how others see me?  Are these the things they focus on?  Do they get so caught up in the outside features that they fail to look to the inside to who I really am?  What do I expect?  I do the very same thing day after day.  I am so focused on my outward reflection that I have lost sight of the things that make up who and what I really am on the inside.  Like my talent in art and music, I am trustworthy and loyal to my family and friends.  I try to reflect the strong moral character of a godly person, kind to others, honest, and true. 

          Do they see the pain, and insecurities of how I think I look that keep me from really living and enjoying life the way I should?  Do they realize that the smile on my face and the flippant way I handle everyday living is just a cover to hide the many fears and inadequacies of how others may perceive me that plague me everyday?  Does it even matter what they see, or is it more important that this is all I see when I look at me?

Shouldn’t I be the one who really sees and understands me?  How have I become so lost, where and how do I find the real me?

          As I stand gazing at the distorted image I have created of myself, I find myself in desperate need of an answer.  And in desperation I cry out, “God what did you have in mind when you created me?”  Standing there in the suffocating silence, eye to eye with my reflection it was as if my mind was open up for the first time and I heard the answer loud and clear.

          The scripture Genesis 1:26 And God said, let us make man in our image, after our likeness.  This scripture ran through my mind and I knew that it was the ultimate answer to who I was meant to be.  It isn’t about the outside features that make up who I am but the inside characteristics that make up the true me. 

          At that moment my reflection took a whole new meaning, instead of focusing on the outside features as multiple flaws in what makes me who I am.  I could see that I was made as a special individual not to be compared to other people but to mirror the creator’s character.  He made the outside features to be a special gift to me, and I am to use the character features from within to be a special gift to Him.  In realizing this I finally realized how special I really was, God has only made one of me and in realizing how important my individual features must have been to Him they have taken on a new meaning for me.

          As I look at my mirror image now, I see so much more then I did before, I see laughing brown eye’s, a bright smile, and a face that radiates joy and individuality.  It’s so much easier to accept who I am when I see myself the way God does, Special. 

          Accepting who you are as the gift that was made just for you will give you the ability to live with joy in the skin you’re in.  Take a look at your mirror image and focus on the wonderful gift of individuality that God has given you, and remember we are all made in His image.  I hope that your mirror image will take on a whole new meaning for you as mine has for me.

         

Mind Field

           It’s as if my mind is a vast field. It has been polluted with years of trash and neglect. All this has caused it to become over taken by the weeds of doubt, cluttered with the underbrush of pain. The many storms of the past have caused erosion of the most productive soil. Still scattered throughout are a few wild flowers of hope.

          But what you see on the surface is not the real problem. It’s what’s laying just blow the surface that makes the mind so dangerous. Scattered all over the mind just below the surface are triggers. As we walk around aimlessly unaware of where these many triggers are, we set them off at the most inopportune times, each explosion tearing away another part of who we are. It’s as if we are at war with ourselves, unable to defend ourselves we can only try to keep the damage to a minimum. We must stay strong in spite of the open wounds that try to destroy us.

          What will it take to destroy me? How long can I be among the walking wounded? What will cause me to lay my weapon down in surrender to the pain? What will cause me to throw my hands up in defeat saying “Enough is enough!” Will it be one more explosion of the pain from the past, or am I strong enough to take on several more hits. Only time will tell…………..

BOOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

           

Growing Up In The Dark

My earliest childhood memories are of the many sleepless nights I spent crying, because of the fear and confusion growing up brought with it. My troubled mind would not let me relax and rest it would only focus on the unknowns of growing up. Why must the journey of growing up have to be so hard? When did something so natural start feeling so unnatural?                               

The darkness would weigh down on me with a pressure that seemed to crush the very breath from my lungs. The darkness brought with it a defining silence that pushed my tired mind to the brink of hopelessness.

It was in those many sleepless nights that I seemed to have grown up the most. For it was in the quit darkness that I learned to focus on the little things of life. In doing so the many big things of life were broken down in manageable piece that worked together to bring me through the many nights of growing up.

It’s in the darkest of times that the Lord helps us to grow the most.  Without the darkness we would never be grateful for the light.

                                                           

Faces

As they sit in the pew, each face giving out a hint of how each one is feeling.

Each face bears witness to the individual’s journey.

Some seem to beam with the look of victory, while others faces are cloaked with the weight of defeat.

There are many different faces in these seats.

Even though we are united in purpose by Christ, we each still have our own individual journey in life.

Some stand strong and bold no matter the ups and downs the journey holds.

While others are beaten down and so weakened by the twists and turns of the journeys hard lessons learned.

All may have great faith, and all may have burdens to bear.

All may have wounds, but some have scares that they will never share.

These are the ones that will have an uphill fight; these are the ones whose dreams torment them at night.

Yes, as you sit beaming with victory in your pew, do you even notice the hurting sitting next you?

Or do you sit wrapped up in your self-righteousness and blessed disregard only aware of how great you are.

Do you fail to see how painful it is to be them, do you even take the time to realize that they are falling behind?

Do you try to put yourself in their place; do you even try to understand that defeated look on their face?

No, that won’t due because it might disgrace you.

What if you had their fate?

Would you even try to stand, or would you just try to blend in?

Maybe you would struggle just to fit in, so you could be like the rest of them.

Faces hold more then we think they do, they tell a lot about me and a lot about you.

Do we stay focused only on our own, or do we look beside us to see what others are going through.

Maybe it’s time to look outside ourselves, to reach out to others and what their face tells.

The next time you look at a face try to put yourself in their place.

You never know what you might see, you might even understand me.

The Climb

The Climb

As I stand at the base of you great expanse.
I'm not sure that I'm even up for this dance.
Do I even want to take the chance, can I even go the distance.

As I stand gazing up into the sky I see your peak trying
to touch the clouds as they drift by.
Do I even try to reach your top,
or will I get half way and stop.

I most take the chance,I must dare to dance.
If I want to have life, love, and a second chance.
I must climb, I must reach for the sky.

For I must live life to the fullest, going the distance
without looking back.
For if I finish well, making the climb.
Then one day I will be in sky
where time will never pass me by.
~~SG~~

Fear

Is paralyzing, steals your peace.
It makes your blood boil and your heart race.
Drains your color and puts sweat on your brow.
I'd calm down but I don't know sure how.

Twists your stomach in knots and loosens your bowels.
Makes my head thump and my ears ring.
Keeps my mind muddled so I can't think of a thing.
One minute I want to hide the next I want to flee.
Yes, this thing called fear has really got a hold on me!

~~SG~~

~When I~

            ~When I~

When I cry out in the dark, You hear me.
When I cower in the corner, You see me.
When I fall Down, You pick me up.
When I feel hopeless, You give me hope.
When I am at the end, You are my new beginning.
When I am surrounded by evil, You give me peace.
When I can know longer stand the night, You send the light.
When I feel shut out, You draw me in.
When I can't bare the trial of life, You are there.
When I lock everyone out, You get in.
When I don't see any progress, You show me where I had been.
When I had emptiness, You filled it in.

          ~Remove my I's so that You can be seen.~
                                                                                 ~SG

Awakening

     I hear the yawning of all creation as Spring awakens once again.  It's as if everything has been in a deep sleep through out winter to awaken once again as the sunshine of spring falls upon the earth.  The birds are singing with new enthusiasm at the renewing of life that comes with spring, as the wind whispers a new tune to welcome in the new beginning.  It's as if there is a celebration by all of creation at the blessing of having yet another chance at rebirth.
     We to have this opportunity to have a new beginning after every cold and dark time in our lives.  We must stay strong and endure the winter of life that we might have the chance at rebirth and renewing of our hearts, minds, and spirits.  We will feel the Spring like stirring in our lives if we look to the horizon for the return of the SON.  We to will have a new song and renewed enthusiasm as we feel the warmth of the new beginning in our lives. 
     There is a great awakening for all creation, whether by the return of Spring or the return of the SON.  For in that final Spring we will all be changed and renewed forever.  For in Him I am a new creature!